The Fat Kid Soap Box

I’d like to take a moment right now and condemn LOW FAT BAKING, actually, let’s go ahead and damn it straight to hell.


Remember that book “French Women don’t get fat?” Yeah, they eat croissants. And croissants? not low fat.

I swear, I get punished every time I try to bake one of those “healthy” recipes I find on the internet- both by my husband and life in general (this only applies to baking). Friday’s catastrophe were “skinny” chocolate chip cookies. I knew something had to be wrong with the nutrition facts touting a mere 30 calories and 1.3 grams of fat per cookie. But I doubted my fat kid instincts and went for it because the pictures on the blog who shall not be named looked delicious. All the comments said they were delicious. Have these people never tasted chocolate chip cookies before?

I went against my instincts one other time making brownie mix with pumpkin in place of the oil and mr. mans still holds a grudge to this day about it. I’ve heard raves about this as well and I don’t know, either my tongue is broken or it’s the only one that works in the world because those brownies tasted like moist play dough.

I’ll admit- the cookies weren’t as bad as play dough, but they’re just dry and very undesirable by my standards. This may not be the best advice, but I live by it and I’m pretty happy so…just make the glorious full fat version and eat less of it.  Or eat all of it and get so sick that you swear you’ll never eat another cookie again, I’ve experienced both situations and I still don’t hate myself.

TONIGHT’S masterpiece was something I wanted to try for a very long time- Oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies.  In the middle of forming these I had to make an executive decision to freeze over half the dough because they are DANGEROUS.


They are amazing and worth every calorie (plus, calories don’t count on the weekends) and don’t try these if you don’t have any form of self control because you are the people those disgusting low fat chocolate chip monstrosities are for.

Damage (1 Cookie): 296 Calories/41g Carbs/15g Fat/3g Protein/24g Sugar/


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